California Scheming

I wish I had Broadband.

I can see why that kid's so delighted at being able to surf the web fast. But he won't be so delighted when I stick his head between my legs and piledriver him up and down! Oh yeah!!! I know I'm not THAT much of a nerd, but I would like to have it. I can download the new Star Wars trailer, which I have yet to see, thank you very much Readings Cinemas.

But speaking of Propaganda, I just found a letter which is explaining why us, as New Zealanders, owe it to America to become one with them. Apparently, while I was asleep, America became a great and kind nation who solve all the worlds crime and have no interests in oil or personal vendettas. It says we should increase military funding, because I can see the strategical advantages New Zealand holds over the rest of the world, or the up side of invading us for our oil, our military position and our natural resources. I can't see why the Japanese would want ten million sheep, but they'll take 'em if we don't gun up!

Violence is always the answer. I mean, especially when we have the big cock of the walk running the school drunk with all the other countries too afraid to tell him to calm down and take it easy, and who stand by while he picks on the black kid.

Whoa, like, deep...

Todays thing you wouldn't want to hear about yourself in a newspaper: "... a history of beastiality."