RANDOM BLOG REVIEW OMG!!!

Hello to everyone out there (and by out there I mean the scientists who will return to Earth many, MANY years from now and discover this Blog and say "No wonder they all got killed by Aids.")! It is time for me to review BLOGS! ARGH!!! SEVEN!!!!!

I really like doing this, it gives me a chance to see how fucked-up other people are. Not as much as I would like seeming all I freakin' get are Emo Blogs and people who can't speak the same language as me.

Here we go!

Blog One - Culture and International Affairs - http://wbeeman.blogspot.com/

Holy Jesus Monkey. What a find. This guy is a Professor of Anthroplogy and Theatre, does Speech and Dance, is the Director of Middle East studies at the University of Brown, is a pro Opera Singer and STILL finds time to post on his Blog. Essentially it's a place for him to post his latest views on the world. And that is why he is unwelcome. Now, you see, when people post on Blogs it is NOT, I repeat NOT because they have something to say, because they are smart or gifted or because they feel they need to contribute to the world. It is because they are OH SO LONELY and have almost little-to-no lives at all. "hay this is my cat tracy and he is brown (like the University) and then i went to the beach the end." INTERNET BLOGS ARE NO PLACE FOR ACTUAL, SOLID OPINIONS!!! It is for people like me who have been abused sexually by their fathers, married their mothers and killed their siblings in a coast-to-coast death race known as Mannell-Bowl 2000. You may be smart and all Mr Dr Prof. Beeman but please, leave the Blogging to the Emos, the foreigners and the faux-geeks like myself.

Blog the Number is being Two - It's all about me - http://itsallaboutmetammy.blogspot.com/

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh God. My sides. This Blog is teh funny. From my early assumptions, and yes I will make an ASS out of U and ME all I like ythank you very much Mr smarty pants, this Blog is done by Hillbillies. Now, that may be wrong as all Hillbilly keyboards only contain the letters B, E and R. But maybe she was using the Libraries. Anyways, listen to the DELIGHTFUL passages in this Blog.n I went to a post entitled The End of my Life (The name for OH SO MANY LiveJournal accounts LOL!!!11) and had a read.

First we have mention of a lady named LaRene. Well Yee to the Haw. In fact, I read this entire Blog out loud in a Hillbilly voice. Here:

"Then her bratty kid- River, he fucking leaves the television on all day without watching it, he pauses his video game, and then leaves the room, and thats alright, because it's a double standard!"
It ain't a double-standard love, it's your fat-assed mothers fat-assed kid being a fat ass. And River? RIVER? Sweet Lord have mercy, that kid is going to love going to school. Then again he's probably home-schooled, seeming his fat-ass only gets up to get more Cheetos. Damn those Americans have some sugary candy. It's like they want everyone in Texas to be overweight.

"Chosing a bitch before me is so not right."

Hehe Choking a bitch. Oh wait...

Essentially what I got was that it is about some lady who lives with her parents and complains about the service they provide. She could, you know, move her fat-ass out (See! Assuming things is fun!) but she instead uses up their precious Internet time posting on her I-hate-my-landlord/care provider/mother boo hoo Blog. She later complains about having no money boo hoo. She should be a student, she has the Warcry down. Maybe she could get a job at a MacDonalds scaring the children away when they try to get free drinks from that machine.

In other news the mail just came and I got some Rugby thing and something for a guy who has a name similar to me. I should open it and then STEAL HIS IDENTITY. So yeah, that Hillbilly Blog was le Boring so what's next on the Gay-Gender. Hehe man I'm funny. And hot too ladies! Rawr! Purr!! Etc!!!!!

Blog Three - Men who Prefer it Anally - http://www.highlyflannable.blogspot.com/
The other two Blogs bugged me so I decided to do a Blog search for "Men having sexual intercourse with other men" but Google kicked out the other instance of Men and the word With and added "Harry Potter and Hagrid slash fiction" so I got this little Blog. Essentially, as I understand it, this Blog is a website for the Coping with Homosexuality chapter of the Ku Klux Klan. In among their racist rantings and badly-doctored nude pics of Brad Pitt we find that their webmaster, Grand Dragon Alex, is planning to take over the western world with a stream of bad syntax and masturbation. Actually, I have it from a reliable source that he is in fact a Government spy, working to stop the flow of Tentacle Rape into our fair, Tentacle-free country. It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it. We at Jesus Monkey salute Flan and his quest to stop Tentacles going where no Tentacle has gone before.

And that is it for this time fellows. Make sure you check out the other Blogs, if my reviews didn't put you off. And remember, I AM YOUR GOD NOW!!! BOW DOWN TO ME!!!