Smells like Cartoon Planet

I guess they ran out of all the good talent. And then the crap talent. And then they must have started picking people off the street. And finally, they were FORCED AT GUNPOINT! But that's the only way I can see it going down. What, I hear you ask? Ryan Seacrest getting a Star on the Walk of Fame. His job is this:

"Hi. I am Ryan Seacrest. Welcome to American Idol."

I'm pretty sure I could train a monkey to do that. Actually, I'm pretty sure I could kill a monkey and then make his corpse do the exact same job. Not that Ryan Seacrest doesn't live in a tree and throw his own crap at people. But poking him with a stick would be fun. I often wonder how some people get famous. And then I remember.

All of the sex.

*Shakes fist at Paris Hilton*

Todays thing you wouldn't want to hear about you in a newspaper: "... found naked in a pool of his own urine."