Auckland - An Unfinished Symphony

Day One of my Jaunt to Auckbucks!

Well, David offered to drive me to the airport. Unknown to him, EVERY SINGLE CAR IN WELLINGTON was out, and it took us four days to get there. When we did finally arrive I had missed my plane.

So I went home.

Actually, they let me on another flight. We had to wait around a bit, but I got to see the portrait of Peter Jackson made out of little toast. So that made my day. Ah, art...

Well, the trip was fun. Two seats ahead of me were two screaming Malaysian kids and the baby behind me kept attempting impromptu kidney surgery on me. And the punkish guy next to me who stole my fucking windowseat smelt like meatloaf. Now, I have never been on a plane before. The reason for this is A) I have a VERY severe case of motion sickness and B) My fucked-up-earitis may or may not kill me with the air pressure. I didn’t feel very sick until the plane said “Hey, I’m gonna tilt to one side now” and that REALLY sucked ass.

Hey, I’m actually tired. I haven’t been sleeping as of late. Maybe all I need to do is read my Blog! That’ll knock me out!

Anyways, they bring everyone drinks on the flight. They gave me a cup, a little punnet of mineral water, some sugar and a spoon and a single buscuit in packaging. I didn’t want any of this shit, so I was now left with how to deal with it. Now, being the jittery fool that I am I decided it would be a good idea to pour the already-leaking water into the cup and then dispose of it. The how part I had not quite worked out. Then they made me put my tray up so I was left holding this cup. The plane trip WAS NOT 50 minutes, we were up in the air for “Angry White Boy Polka”, “Angel” and 13 minutes of a Chris Rock routine by my MP3 players watch and we were landing! I assumed it was a stopover in Hamilton but nope, we were there.

So I’m not deaf, I can travel in planes. Take THAT medical science. I am feeling quite sick however, and I think I’ll turn in and get an early night. It’s 1:10 am, which is VERY early for me. Sleeping pwns me.

I’ll try to post whenever I can. I do have a link for people to visit however: http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com - You’ll figure out what this site is. I need an image of me saying “I’m afraid of Cornfields, Needles and those tiny horses.” And todays movie is The Village of the Damned. Damn those kids is whack. For sure. They be all like white and shit.

Gee.




Day Le Two: Revenge of the Staying at Johnnys.

Well, I’m still alive and can use BOTH of my ears. I have stopped yelling at people to compensate for how deaf I is. Ow. Bay. My mohawk is getting itchy. I hope I didn’t catch crabs from the GUY WHO STOLE MY SEAT. I did have sex with him however. Hmmm... I watched my first episodes of Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Harvey Birdman today. They’re cool, but Space Ghost is still the King.

So very itchy...

Itchy itchy hungry hungry...

Since Steff is a regular Workaholic (and by work, I mean Alch. And by ahoic, I mean emy.) so she gets a holiday she so richly deserves while I’m in Auckbucks. I don’t know what my excuse is. And we’re going for a drive to the Corromandel. It’s like ten bajillion miles away. *SIGH* and *VOMIT*.

Hurt my arm as well. I have been spared from all female bouts of violence because of the shoddy worksmanship the builders did on my spine when they made it. Fucking cowboys...

I see you shiver with anticp..... I HATE DRIVING FUCKING PLACES. Motion Sickness is fag. Seeya round like a poo. lol. brb. etc. God I’m funny. They should write books about me. Big ones with little words and plenty of pictures.

Todays link to visit is http://www.atomfilms.com and search for the Steven Seagal Show. In fact, watch anything there. And todays film is Ed Gein. And that’s about the size of it.



Day Numba Three: The Day after Yesterday.

Monday. Taught Steff the meaning of lazy. And ate Tim-Tams. And I saw my first Auckbucks Starbucks and was nearly run down by my first irate Aucklander. I’m changing my profession to professional lyric writer. The world needs more songs with the word “poop” in them. And “dome”.

I realise now that a Shane and his money are soon parted. I was just not meant to have cash. Johnny is making up songs about me, but refuses to take my song “Achy Breaky Child Molestation” or other catchy tunes. Fine!

Todays link is http://www.fark.com because the news is cool and todays film is “The Count of Monte Cristo.” Because Dumbledore is in it.



That was all I wrote before my notes were FLOODED AWAY IN ALL THE RAIN.