Another Post on my Blog

Why does my little brother insist on taking off his pants when somebody argues with him? What are they teaching at school? Have the pedophiles won?

I know it is a tired cliche, but Waipukurau FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK ASS FUCK.

COCK.

I am still trying to apply for various institutions. And my new favourite word is Cancer. Because now I truely understand what slow, painful death feels like.

Mel had her 21st, that cheered me up. She is so cute, hopefully the idea of seeing her in Auckland will lure me there, because I don't like Auckland. I am afraid of Auckland.

I also wanted to share a mass e-mail I wrote during my recent trip to Wellington:


How come mass e-mails make me want to hit people? They are always oh-so pretentious and "Look at me!", assuming that everyone likes to hear about your life, like Sims with Free Will turned off. Well Uni sucked, Waipukurau sucks anad Auckland will most probably suck, my only refuge from the torture being either death by cancer or the humour that shall arise when Steff and I get a turtle (Which shall NOT be named Lauri). I get so very, very angry when I see any e-mail addressed to me. I am currently at Vic Uni for the last time, not through living here but through using their computers, and I shall miss this plac. Auckland is going to kill me and then rape me in case I didn't learn my lesson.

But at least I won't have to be sent any more e-mails from you all. Why do I even check Hotmail? It's just going to enlighten me like my Uni marks did. LOL FAILURE.

See, aren't mass e-mails fun? In fact, since my life is so shitty right now I shall instead delight you all with my impersonation of a mass e-mail. Here it goes!

*ahem*

Hello all! Just a quick HELLO to tell you all that I am still alive (LOL FUNNY IM NOT DEAD) and that my life is going great! Uni was blah (I HATE UNI TOO LOL) and now I have HOLIDAYS (I STRIKE AGAIN WITH MY WIT) and hopefully I will be gracing you all (ITS LIKE I AM JESUS AND YOU ARE ALL WAITING FOR JESUS THATS ME LOL) with my presence over the New Years! My flatmates/parents/coworkers are being annoying (REBEL LOL) and I can't wait to go out to some clubs/parties/drinking in my room.

Hope you all are having a fun time (LIKE I CARE),
Shane.

PS take care (LOL CANCER)



I don't really have cancer, I just find it more preferable to life in Waipukurau. I have been writing, but Waipukurau sucks out your will to live with its constant stream of pregnant 13 year olds. CONDOMS AIN'T THAT COMPLICATED FOLKS. And I'm moving to Auckland, where the money comes from, and I need to get a job at the ever-gracious New World, so if I do you are all welcome to come down and beat the shit out of me for having no self esteem or respect for my person.

I just realised I am conforming via this electronic letter so I have to go and wash these unclean hands. Plesae don't take care, I want to hear heaps of stories over the christmas holidays of how you all broke your legs or went bald or got herpes or something, anything that will put a smile on my face and release me from my slow, agonising death.

I hate you all,
Shane Bellamy-(JESUS LOL)-Mannell