Go Crazy

European Art films.

Boy howdy, where do I start?

If you like your porn to have more of a narrative (and if by narrative, you mean convoluted and illogical character plotlines) then Art films are for you. I hate art films. Now, I'm sure that, just like regular art, not all art films are crappy. But c'mon, how can you build a fucking film around two people wanting to sleep with their mother while killing each other and hating their fathers who are having a gay affair with their transexual sister? We are studying Art films for Film class right now and I HATE the idea that if you don't like Art films you are uncultured and stupid. It's the fucking Emporers New Clothes all over again, everyone in my class claims to love these films. But they have no narrative! Their narrative exists to fill in space between each kinky sex scene! You know what else does that? PORN.

They are not "Classy Love Scenes" between "two people in love". It's two people fucking graphically. And keep your pretentious nature because you know the director put that sex in because it's sex. You can say "Well, it makes you think" but please, it's still graphic sex. It feeds the perversions of the audience who knowingly seek this shit out. As with art just because it is controversial doesn't mean it's fucking gold! These film makers act like they were put here on Earth to enlighten us. They get in an uproar when their sex scene between two real 13 year olds is cut. All of a sudden, having something against violent rape between minors makes you stupid and a facist. Just forget the Arts grant and GO MAKE PORN. And all you Anti-Hollywood elitists can go fuck youselves.

We watched "Matador" by Almodavar. I think, maybe that'ssupposed to be two words. Well, whatever it is, he needs a beating by an angry Christian womans group. Sick fuck. "Oh, I make Art, I'm teh smart. Sex sex sex sex sex sex."

GOD I hate Art films. Just in case you hadn't gathered that already. Keep your shady directors who think that everyone has loose morals. They won't be happy until we're all fucking our mothers and shooting our fathers, all at the same time. Franco should come back to life and shoot them all in the face.

You can classify and explain their actions quite easily. "Well, the sex scenes go against the regular mode." DEVIANTS. "The love triangle shows the passion between the two brothers and their love for their teacher." INCEST. The violence is realistic, as they don't cut away as she is raped by the watching men." VOYEURISM. I hope I spelt that right. It shouldn't be called art. Art denotes an air of high society. They should be called "Sicko Fucking Quasi-Porn Sex-Driven Anti-Narrative Incest Film" but I guess "Art" fits on that little tag at the video store better.

Oh, and Juan Miro can't paint for shit. Fuck Film class. Fuck it right in the ear.

Todays thing you wouldn't want to hear about you in a newspaper: "... found dead after trying to re-enact a scene from Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers."